The Cake is a Lie
by makeshift-rolley
Summary: AU De-anoned from the drrr kink meme  Mikado is a mad scientist who built two robots for his own enjoyment. What happens when he leaves and a new clone takes his place? No pairings as of now
1. Chapter 1

De-anoned from the drrr-kink meme.

**Original prompt:**

_Half-AU!Durarara?_

_Uhm, it's about Shizuo and Izaya is actually an artificial(sp?) life/human created by a scientist!Mikado (because we all know it's impossible for them to be human), they're created with nature of hating each other and twisted personality, to make Mikado life more interesting. Complete with the nature of hating being controlled by their 'father', Mikado, just because Mikado finds it amusing to find them struggle for freedom._

_The scientist!Mikado is eventually dead, and unfortunately they still keep fighting each other, because they're programmed(?) so. Years later (I don't know, they're artificially, so they immortal? up to author!anon really), they found a boy who look like their 'father' with a different personality, which actually scientist!Mikado's clone, and with his newest artificial slave, Aoba(?)_

_That's the setting I want I guess? How the story flow is up to the author!anon._

_If there's a pairing, please, anything BUT ShiZaya. No offense, but I'm getting bored skimming through numerous of this pairing. And if it's Masaomi/Mikado could it be more brotherly love?_

_Make it as twisted as possible lol_

_Brownies, if there are lots of brain-play between the artificial lives and scientist XD and Mikado only think the human as his toy (to quote this post subject: "human is so interesting, they're so pathetic")_

_More brownies, if there is dark-smut here and there (most likely the scientist with his slaves XD?)_

_But really, most important thing is, Shizuo and Izaya as artificial lives, with Scientist!Mikado XD_

**P.S.** Unfortunately, I'm terrible at smut do more focus on the brain-play. If OP!anon ever read this, I am terribly sorry.

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><p><em>Testing, testing.<em>

_Are you awake?_

-*-  
>He opened his eyes, squinting at the flashing object in front of him. His mechanized brain felt faint, possibly from the days of hard work to create him. He stood up from the table he was previously at and examined the place. One thing he noticed was that, everything was blank. His brain hasn't programmed what exactly it was called, yet. He flexed those robotic hands of his, wires and cords followed his will. He was a thinking, moving mechanism and he sure recognized that.<p>

"Your brain might feel empty," his ears tensed at the echoing sound. It was coming from the glass window his new eyes could not form. The voice continued to speak, "All artificial intelligence had to go through that at some point. Well at least those who were functional."

His mind could not process the words being dictated at him right away. _Artificial intelligence? What does that mean? Does he mean by me?_

He turned to face the man. His new eyes weren't properly functioning yet he can still form the shape of the man. Following the shape, he watched the man pressed and pulled often writing on the earthy material in his hands. The man finished and he could see that he spoke through an object that connected to the system.

"I fixed most of the tiniest problems you had. Your eyesight should now be properly functional," he was right about that. He could definitely see the man, he had dark hair and he was wearing blank clothes.

"I'm guessing your mind hasn't processed any of the simplest human information. That information would lead you to survive this type of environment," that voice left a ringing noise in his ears. "Don't worry, I'll help you. Repeat after me, I am Izaya Orihara."

"I am Izaya Orihara," those words fell right out of his mouth like waterfalls.

"I am under the care of Mikado Ryuugamine, my creator."

It was like a game of Simon Says, except it was more on words. The robot repeated everything his creator said. Sometimes he spoke of trivial things-like the colour of eyes which he now knew was burgundy. The man was also a scientist, a failed one for that matter. That was the only thing he knew of his career. They were also situated in an underground facility-away from those pesky humans this scientist seemed to find interesting. He told him to call him 'Mikado.'

In a short amount of time, Izaya Orihara held the most mundane human knowledge in the world. Considering the fact that he was a little to a day old, his computerized brain held the capacity of a full grown man. He learned that the flashing object was light. Mikado told him that the vile humans used it for selfish reasons, like using it to blind the soft, fragile eyeballs. This was what Mikado told him the most, the deadly acts those humans performed.

Mikado was also in his thirties though he looked as if he wasn't a day older than twenty. Maybe it was because of his genuine childish face that made him look so innocent. Izaya noticed the faint deep circles that formed under his eyes. It might be from the days of hard work from making his creation. The artificial intelligence, _him_.

There were four white walls in his room (he noticed everything was white in this place. There was a glass window that separated him from the scientist and that black box with all the controls. Mikado entered his confinement, Izaya noticed that he was a tad shorter than what he looked from the glass window. The place was more barren than what he expected, (everything was still white, of course. This was a bleak white, however).

"The gush you are feeling right now is air," Mikado explained, blankly, "They came from the ventilation up there. Wait, I must've forgotten. I haven't fixed your feeling of touch yet."

The scientist remained silent for the rest of the time. Time after time, he hummed a tune Izaya didn't recognize. Mikado only shared information that he thought that was relevant. The arrived at another door, one that was similar to his confinement. Mikado pressed the palms of his hand on the black screen next to the door.

"Access activated. Welcome, _father_," the room was similar to his, except it was a lot larger. There was also a blond man sitting on the table, gazing at the wall inattentively. For some reason, Izaya felt a sudden impulse to insult him, to hate him and to show his anger. He wanted to destroy him for some unfathomable reason.

"Shizuo," Mikado said, "this is Izaya. He is approximately fifteen hours younger than you. If you have feelings of anger, misjudgment or hate upon Izaya. It's alright. That's okay. You _were_programmed to hate him anyway. So go on, hit him, punch him or try to kill him."

They looked at each other for a moment, they started fighting like they meant it from the very beginning. Izaya learned that Shizuo had the capabilities to break through the fortified walls. Of course, Izaya was quick like a fox, missing each blow by an inch of his hair. Suddenly, the room was transported or rather changed into a larger room. Obstacles were laid everywhere, spikes , laser beams and the like. The two mechanisms looked up to see Mikado behind the glass window, again. He was grinning like he had seen the most amusing thing in the world.

"You two would be put through tests," the failed scientist twirled his finger, "Don't worry, all artificial intelligence went through this."

"It simply because I have nothing better to do that to observe. The human race is so fascinating yet pathetic at the same time. I tried testing humans before but a lot of them seemed to rebel," Mikado shook his head, "So instead, I created artificial intelligence because they're easier to control that those annoying humans. Except some of them _are_so dysfunctional. I hope you two would do much better. Good luck!"

Shizuo impaled him to the ground. They kicked, they punched and they pulled, just to eliminate. _Eliminate, eliminate, eliminate_. These were a revolving notion of words. It was still for no reason, at all.

It wasn't chance or bad luck. No,it was because they were programmed to do so.

Behind the glass window, Mikado watched his two creations annihilate each other. He almost wanted to dance and sing with glee. He made these creatures-no, no _things_to look like humans, to act like humans and to think like humans(depending on what you meant as 'to act' or 'to think). He despised those humans just like how these two mechanisms despised each other, to the very core. However, these robots are very easy to manipulate. With a push of a button, he can easily tell them what to do.

The failed scientist had them tied like little marionettes in his fingertips. They weren't like those annoying humans he once tested, always rebelled, always thought for themselves. Almost one of them exposed this very facility, things didn't end well for that human.

Humans. Humans. Humans.

Mikado found them so intriguing yet under those alluring faces hid vile, malicious creatures. They were arrogant, stupid and so ignorant. It was their fault, they pushed him to hide himself from the earth.

Humans. Humans. Humans.

Mikado looked back at the scene happening below him. As he expected, his creations had been fighting for at least half an hour. He frowned, things were getting absolutely boring. He pushed a button. Walls transformed the room into the likes of a maze. Shizuo and Izaya stopped fighting and looked up-obviously, dumbfounded.

"In some tests, you two would have to work together. In some tests, you two would have to fight each other. Some tests would require you to work _and_fight each other such as this one. No matter, your feelings of hatred and anger would never change. I programmed you two to be that way. Why? For no reason."

_All for my entertainment._

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><p><strong>AN:<strong>Title is from Portal which is one of my main inspirations for this fic. (Seriously when I first saw this prompt it screamed Portal and Artifcial Intelligence at me.)


	2. Chapter 2

Throughout the years, their rivalry intensified. Oftentimes, Mikado fueled the flames to their battles. Izaya didn't possess any of the inhumane strength that Shizuo had so he used his wits. Eventually, he learned to escape from the attacks Shizuo threw at him. To keep himself from ever getting bored-if he _does_get bored-Mikado threw in other enemies. Robots that would track their every move and would fire in lasers. Sometimes Mikado even ordered them to fight to destroy those robots.

Izaya never had a formal conversation with Shizuo outside the arena. The only time they'll ever talk is when Shizuo yelled curses at him when they were fighting. Even when they were forced to work together, they remained silent. If humans considered that talking since they weren't humans, it's a different story.

Mikado always said that they were the best creations he'd ever had.

_He's just making that up_.

That he loved them so much and cared for them.

_It's all a lie. He lied to us all the time but what if it was always the truth?_

And that he would never let them go. This was their daily routine. It was almost like a game, Izaya _thought_of it as a game. That's why he was acting so foolish when he was fighting. He always laughed and he always teased, even Mikado himself was getting annoyed at Izaya's actions.

That was their daily life.

Until, Mikado grew older and as he grew older he became weaker. Before he turned forty, he lost his genuine, innocent face. From the lack of sleep he was getting, he looked five years older. At fifty, he lost most of his hair on the top of his head. He became very ill afterwards. Then that horrid day came. Before Mikado turned sixty, he collapsed on the ground while watching them fight over and over again. He didn't sleep for almost a week. He pushed his limits at that age. Izaya almost laughed when he saw that still, fragile body lying on the ground.

_Unlike robots, humans don't have the ability to live forever. Silly old man_. And he laughed.

Everything in the facility became silent after.

Later that day, the brought their creator to the surface. What Mikado had told them about the surface was all a lie. The place was barren but there were still buildings that were similar to the ones underground. It wasn't a wasteland as Mikado told them. In fact, the place was very clean. Izaya looked around, there wasn't any sign of vegetation anywhere. It was mostly brown and flat. A luminous, round object was sinking into the mountains. It was a ball of fire, it was the sun.

He had to admit the surface was beautiful even for a mechanism like him. He looked at Mikado and Izaya realized that he never asked him why he hated humans so much. The topic was never mentioned by the failed scientist. The was no reason like everything else he said, he _just_hated humans.

They walked away in peace after they laid their creator's lifeless body next to one of the buildings. Shizuo and Izaya returned underground facility, _their home_. Well, where else would they go?

Silence.

Even with the faint sound of the ongoing machines around them, it was still empty. It was new to them, the lack of hard footsteps and childish praises. The lack of flimsy topics just to break the condensing tension and _silence_ being thrown at them. It was all _very_new.

_Did I miss him?_

Shizuo wondered, should he really miss that man. That man who turned them into puppets for his own pleasure, for his own enjoyment. He was his own description of those humans he called vile and disgusting. Yet Shizuo was feeling some kind of gratitude towards the scientist whom he called his creator. It was a small kind of gratitude for keeping them mostly alive throughout the years, for giving them his wide array of knowledge in the human world and for creating them even for the wrong purpose.

He might as well have called him 'father.'

"Hey Shizu-chan," and there was his rival. Shizuo still felt that same feelings of frustration and anger towards Izaya. Unable to control his own anger, he lifted Izaya off the ground, gripping his neck.

"You were always so violent," he smirked, "even when dear Mikado stopped the test, you still tried to kill me."

"It's because you provoke me!"

"Well we're supposed to be entertainment. Unlike you, I didn't possessed any of that inhumane strength," Izaya spat, "what a worthless huma-arrgh!" Shizuo slammed the other mechanism onto the wall, gripping his neck tighter.

Izaya laughed _and_laughed, each laugh getting louder than the other.

"What? Did you actually felt any sort of affection for that stupid human?" he chuckled, this was another game for him, "Sometimes I wonder if you really fit the description of 'artificial intelligence,' Shizu-chan. We're robots, mechanisms! Had a toaster ever found affection towards the user?"

Shizuo's grip softened at his rival's declaration. He let him go. Izaya took the opportunity to escape, making his way back to their testing center. This time it was the real thing as it always had been.

_Elminate, annihilate, confirm, destroy_.

**10 years later**

A coughing sound.

"What is that horrid stench?"

It was a feminine voice, filled with disgust. She coughed again.

"You do know that this hasn't been taken cared of for a decade."

She was accompanied by a masculine voice who found the situation very mundane. The man was shuffling his feet, his eyes can't work when the place was pitch black.

"That's why I hate robots."

"You only hated them because of your brother, right?"

Silence. The woman started tapping her foot. Her companion was supposed to know everything about this place. He read the blue prints and the plans day and night. His mind should have been filled with that knowledge, looking for a switch should be as easy as cutting a cake.

"There must be one here somewhere. Ahh, here we go."

_Click_

The facility became illuminated once again. All those dead machines became alive once again. Slowly, the whole place came back to life like it was ten years ago. The two scientists gawked in awe with the complex structures of the facility. The walls were not as white as they used to be but they still looked like they were luminous. The dead still remained for there were inanimate robots all over the ground.

"Your grandfather helped build this place," Shinra pushed his glasses, observing everything in sight, "from the stories I've heard, he designed most of the structures."

"I think he drew the blue prints too," Namie pondered why there was an elevator that led up to the main Nebula Laboratories. She heard that Mikado was a misanthropic man. He didn't need an elevator if he would never return to the earth. _Mikado was a strange man. Let's hope his clone doesn't turn out to be like him_.

"There were two robots that accompanied Mikado. His most successful ones, I think,"Shinra started exploring the reawaken laboratory. Mostly everything was in place. "With all the dead robots around the place, they should be dead as well. This would be easy."

If they were ever to see the two artificial intelligence, they were to dispose of them. With the dead robots littered on the ground, Namie was sure that these mechanisms weren't path destroying robots that would kill everything in sight. They didn't bring their bigger equipment that would require to destroy forsaken robots.

"I don't see why you despised robots so much," Shinra brought up the topic again, much to her chagrin, "Robots are one of the most useful things mankind has ever created. Their very productive and they're very polite like-"

"Like who?" she scoffed, "That robot you named your girlfriend that has half a face?"

"I started building Celty when I was seven years old! I started with her body since I didn't know how to make a face that time."

"She can't _talk_, Shinra," she was right. Celty lacked a voice box and the chip which would help her project her voice. She had to type something on her specialized PDA to 'speak.' Shinra wished he had enough free time as Mikado had just so he could finish his one true love. There's one thing that's set Celty apart from the other robots.

He found away to give her a full range of emotions. He painstakingly created a chip that would allow this which took him most of his time.

"I still think it's because of your brother," Namie remained quiet. This was a touchy subject to discuss.

_Crash!_

Namie glanced at Shinra, he shrugged. He was a confused as she was. They bolted to were the heard that groundbreaking noise. Shinra didn't recall this place ever being in the blue prints or the plans. From what he suspected, this must be were Mikado watched his creations entertain him. He noticed that the lights were flashing madly on the system. That was odd, he thought everything was supposed to be lifeless in the laboratory. Even then, the lights shouldn't be flashing madly since they only turned on the switch leading to the lights and giant machines in the hallway.

"I think these lights have been on for awhile," there was another crash. They looked down from the glass window.

"Hey Namie, I think I've found those robots."

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><p><strong>AN:<strong> Nebula is the company that took over the Yagiri Pharmaceuticals. It was also the one that built The Flying Pussyfoot if anyone of you are watching Baccano!


End file.
